Smoke and Mirrors

Her NY self

fortuitous in business

aggressive 

driven 

Mars in Capicorn

skin like leather 

like scaled armor

Now softening

There is no rest

in the great white North East

Ivy League Society

Wasps from Northern Europe

Academia 

intellectual arrogance

Pilgrims who

pulled up their boot straps

demanding that you do too

or it means that God is not for you

but against you

but he is for them

She was racing against winter

below zero temeratures 

and black ice

sooty snow

encounters with unfriendly faces

frozen features harsh words

competing with others in the race

fear and anger

crazy drivers 

turnpike turmoil

concrete city scapes

abhorrant to nature

trying to be 

some other 

something 

Yet she competes for survival

in a world she cannot Not

but does not belong to

Her feet hover over

her body floats above

rootless

I don’t ask

who needs affection

cause it’s me

Migrates further North

Dysphoria beneath ebullience

hidden for years

away from Manhattan

under warm coats

under down

under astringent skies

the white snow

the shoveling out

the quaint country houses

under helping others

after giving over 

even the bone marrow

that runs in her psyche

this is not her

Curls of smoke in 

her smoke screen

rise and part

exposing the rudiments

of vestigial humaness

divulge the true one in the mirror

standing there

looking back at me

there are truths 

and myths qualifying 

that grow roots from the bottom of her feet

Taking hold now in who she really is

an amalgam of memories

adroit with clay and soil

trees with oranges

plants with flowers

children and pets

rays of sun

lapping salted waves 

needs and wants 

no more false accolades

Delivered, her subterranean self

steps from the mirror

layers of cloth heap

on the floor

Not quite knowing

what or how to 

how to operate 

how to navigate

this newly re-inhabited self

recycled complete with roots and blood

through years of mirrors reflecting who she was 

and is  becoming again now

who she really is 

She is.

Alexandra Morgan  – December 2, 2019

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